eighteen.

After only a year and a half, I feel like she has always been with me.

Funny how such a short time can feel like forever.

the fine print.

Competent? That's a stretch.

because babies...

...babies turn into toddlers.

And toddlers are busy. And very, very strange.

How many Elmos do you see?

ten.

My bumble, my bubble, my boo.

I felt you move inside me at just 14 weeks and you have never stopped. You are perpetually in motion.

Even when you sleep.

show me your poop face.

Yeah I know, it's wrong. But how can you resist a poop face like that?

Where have I been? Good question.

Involved, stressed and unsure. I've never been one to tell half a story so maybe tomorrow I'll know the ending; then I'll spill the beans.

No I'm not pregnant.

I know, I hate cliff hangers too.

nine.

I missed eight.



We have been so busy. You go everywhere with me and there is always a smile on your face. This last month it has been doctors and hospitals. It has been other states, family parties and chaos.


I have fought through it all but you have born it with interest and unwavering patience.

My sweet girl, with every day I can see your personality more and more.


You are independent. You have my stubborn streak.


There are so many firsts. When you clapped. When you tried to crawl (backwards). When you mimic.

When I wasn't there to kiss you goodnight.

Above all things, your smile still lights up a room.




And those eyes. Oh those eyes, they are holding fast as blue but I know they will change. No matter the color (I personally am holding out for your father's hazel) they will always be intense and look right at my heart.

snippets.

While at the family party last weekend.

Crazy Uncle (admiring Riley): "She truly has your mother's eyes."

Me: "uhh thanks Crazy Uncle but she really does look exactly like my father in every way."

Crazy Uncle: "No, I meant, her gaze. She has your mother's gaze."

Me (examining baby and her unwavering intent gaze): "Yeah...yeah she does doesn't she?"


*****************************

While giving Riley a bath yesterday.

Nephew (all of 5): "Ummm when will she get her penis?"

Me (desperately trying to keep straight face): "She doesn't have a penis buddy, she has a vagina."

Nephew: "Well what's a vagina?"

Me: "Errrm, maybe you should go ask your mommy."

one week

The top 5 reasons why Daddy and Auntie Uma can not be trusted.

1)Gerber Peas are much yummier than mine.

2) I should look on the bright side right? At least she is checking her mirrors.

3) COFFEE!

4) I am at a loss for words...

5) You guys know we are Jewish right?

Seriously....I could not have survived without my wonderful Spouse and my wonderful friend. I am feeling much much much much much better. Like an actual person.

I even contemplated cleaning the house today.

I know, I know, don't rush into things you say. It has only been a few days.

Thank you to everyone for your wonderful thoughts of love and support. Truly, from the bottom of my heart. It meant the world.