Tuesday, November 6, 2007

If a dish sits in the sink and there is no one there to wash it...

...does it get clean?

The answer to this question is in fact, no. It does not get clean.

It actually will sit in the sink and soak. Eventually it will develop an offensive sulfur like smell which will cause one to think for a split second that she may be having a stroke.

So I gave in. After 3 days of just hoping the dishes would magically vanish into thin air I did them.

Now I am paying the price.
The cost? Searing, blinding, take your breath away, am I in labor?? back pain.

You see my sink stinks. (...not literally anymore since I just cleaned it but figuratively)
I guess it's not the sink so much as it's the faucet.

It is a less then satisfying faucet.

If the faucet were a man it would drive a shiny red convertible BMW...would seriously consider the drugs advertised on TV at 3am to enhance it's performance...I would have to tell it that I have met faucets like it and it wasn't the size but the quality of the water from it that mattered...if you get my meaning.

Due to my less then average faucet size and my above average stomach size I need to tilt toward the sink in a pretty awkward position while attending to this particular domestic duty. After even 5 minutes my back just seizes.
It's awful.

I am then forced to lean all the way over with my elbows on the edge of the counter and my head sunk down to complete the task.

I have to do the dishes doggie style.

Was that going too far?

Because this was really what I was thinking while trying to finish up and distract myself from the pain.

I'm the faucet's bitch.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like it's time for you to get a dishwasher - you'll definitely need (desire beyond your wildest dreams) one once you have the baby.

Anonymous said...

You have no idea the visual I get from this description. Mostly from the cats thinking "What the hell is she doing?"

Anonymous said...

My husband usually makes the dishes disappear in our house (yay!)Somehow, though, I think I'd rather be the faucet's bitch than the toilet's...

moosh in indy. said...

Okay, now I'm laughing harder.

Amber said...

This is what men are for. He made you pregnant, so it's only fair that you make him do the dishes. Of course, this attitude of mine might be part of the reason my boyfriend of 7 1/2 years still refuses to go anywhere near the possibility of babies.

Also, thanks for linking to the MS Society. My mom and my uncle both have MS.

Heather said...

Oh, I've washed dishes doggie style too. Let's start a club!