Sunday, March 15, 2009

sing it loud so I can hear you.

Our wedding song was Better Together by Jack Johnson.

The Wood Song by the Indigo Girls ties my Blanket Girls...my best friends and me together.

I was listening to Bob Marley's Acoustical Medley the moment when my mother slipped away.

These are the songs I hear in my head everyday of my life. They are the songs I always come back to; the ones I am always humming.

When I am not humming "Give me back that fillet of fish, give me that fish..." Seriously, someone help me!

My point.

From the moment I knew Riley was growing inside me I began to sing to her. Everyday of my pregnancy and every day of the last 15 months. They are varied fun tunes, theme songs or the aforementioned commercial.

Give me back that smelly dipe, give me that dipe....

The first night in the hospital I held her sleeping body close to me. I found the words to a song I have always known, and knew in that moment that it would always be hers. That night, and every night after I have sung her The Beatles, I Will.

I nursed her and rocked her. I would sing it and then hum it before finally settling her peacefully in her crib.

While I am no longer nursing her I am still singing to her...its our bedtime ritual.

But I wonder for how long. She grows restless for more books or for her bed. It is crystal clear to me in these moments how quickly she is growing and changing. How fast she makes up her own mind.

Sometimes I worry that this song will fall away one day to be one I only sing to myself.

But them I remember the times she has heard it on the radio and has raced towards me. "Mamamamamamama..." Shes climbed into my lap and snuggled for a minute before racing back away.

I know little moments like that will be a fleeting gift as she grows. But she will always be mine, I will always remember and I promise I will always sing for her and to her.

I will.

4 comments:

Whirlwind said...

You may find yourself singing it to yourself, and then one day, out of the blue, she'll climb up into your lap and say "can you sing me that song you used to sing to me?". She'll remember. Even if it seems like your singing it to yourself.

Mrs. Chicken said...

"I Will" was our wedding song. I sang it to both my babies.

Sigh.

Randi said...

I can't get that filet of fish song out of my head either!! In the hosptial with you and your mom, you sang that song to her and I totally lost it. Whenever I hear it, I think of you singing to her.

Amber said...

Oh yeah, she'll remember. And she'll be glad to have the memory, too.

Also, I can't believe "Better Together" was your wedding song. There's a good chance it will be ours, too.

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