Saturday, April 5, 2008

tastes like chicken

Chicken.

For me, chicken is one of the funniest words in the English language. It is. Second only to Monkey.

Funny word, funny bird but the idea of eating one is absurd.

heh

When I was 5 I asked my mother what chicken was.

She told me. (such a bad move that)

I threw a holy terror hissy fit, how could she have done that to me? How could she have fed me a formally living creature?? I felt betrayed. I soundly refused to ever eat meat again.

I stuck to it and was a veggie most of my young life. My diet was a battle between me and my Mother and there were times when she would win and I would relent.

But for the most part that was that.

I would no longer eat meat, any meat related product, or any morsal that may have come in contact with meat, a meat related product or a utensil that was used in the preperation of meat or a meat related product.

There was that pork dumpling in disguise in 2003, but thankfully I recognized it for what it was and spat it out.

Violently.

On Future Spouse's coffee table.

While he was eating.

...and he still married me.

My point...while enjoying Thai food last week there was an incident.

I was munching away when something very peculiar found in its way into my mouth.

This was my inner monologue:

Munch munch munch...
hmmm what is this?
munch munch munch...
This tastes really familiar...munch
I have not had this vegetable in a really long time (I actually did say that to myself...what is this vegetable?)
...what is this...
munch munch *swallow*....realization

Oh.My.RuntothebathroomandtrynottothrowupthatwasSOgrossbutkindofgoodinawaybutGROSSamaznghowitwasthetextureandnotthetastethatgaveitawayandIthinkIamgoingtobesickNOifIpukethisupIwillnevereatThaiagainandIloveThaifightitfightit!

...and that is how the clock on when I last ate meat was reset to zero.

8 comments:

the new girl said...

Oh no WAY.

I am SO sure that I wouldn't recognize it, either.

That is so strange when something gets by you. One time I found chicken or turkey or something in a crepe that was meant to have spinach and apples in it. MMMM. not.

Mayzie said...

sorry you were duped. But, chicken, soooo goooood - mmmm

Megan said...

If you accidentally eat meat does it make you sick? A friend in high school had beef broth and it made her really sick, I never understood that.

flutter said...

I don't think the clock resets unless your meat eating was intentional. Have you read The Omnivore's Dilemma?

andi said...

This reminds me of when I ordered veggie samosas and got beef ones. Nothing makes me gag like a big mouthful of ground beef. Now I open up all pocketed food before biting. Lesson learned.

Amber said...

Mmmm....chicken.

I mean, um, chicken is disgusting?

Okay, so I can't empathize, but I can sympathize. Damn that sneaky chicken.

Ali said...

oh no! that sucks!!

Elizabeth said...

PETA...People Eating Tasty Animals...that's me YUMMM chicken...

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