Saturday, December 29, 2007

Baby Before Blog

Where have I been this holiday season?
New Jersey, but that's not why I've been neglecting my beloved online community.
I've been held captive...by my baby.

Seems I must have spoken too soon.
Oh she still sleeps 5-7 hours overnight.

...take another moment....hate me...

Maybe this will make you feel better?
She is awake...all day.

Really. All day long.

So what is my day like with my incredibly cute but non-sleeping baby?

GAAAWWAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
BOOB! BOOB! BOOB!

Really. All day long.

She has destroyed my left nipple single handed. It cowers in fear when it comes time to nurse her. Don't ask me why she has it in for only that nipple. She just adores the right one. Its clearly an easier nipple to get along with. Its her BFF. The left one must have said something offensive to her when I wasn't watching.

And when she is not nursing?

She is crying.

Really. All day long.

She has been super with our friends and family. She just coos and smiles and puts on her best "Aren't I the bestest baby ever?!?!" act.

Then they leave. And so it begins.

GAWWWAAAAA!!
Give me back that boobie!!!!
No wait...who the hell is this guy? Daddy you say?
I don't need no stinking Daddy!
He has no sweet nectar of life!
I said...give me back that boobie!!!
GAWWWAAAAA!!

And then she nods off to sleep.

For 20 minutes.

This is how is goes. All day long.

Until about midnight. When the coach turns back into a pumpkin and she sleeps for 5-7 hours.

At which point Spouse and I are pathetic excuses for human beings and everyone we know thinks we have the perfect baby.

Thank goodness she is so ridiculously cute.

They are made that way so you don't throw them in the river.

I know...this too shall pass.

Oh and before anyone jumps on me about the river comment...I would obviously never condone throwing babies in rivers. Its just wrong. Especially in winter.

Plus I am no where near the Delaware right now...so no worries.



4 comments:

Michelle said...

You're not eating or drinking dairy, are you?

Michelle said...

For some reason my second child didn't want anyone holding her but me. She was like this until she was a few months old. Even her dad couldn't hold her for more than 5 seconds without her crying. I guess they get used to Mommy's soft chest, and Dad's boobless chest just doesn't cut it.

Even though I had been a lactation specialist, with my third, I looked back at pictures of me nursing in the hospital, and I was shocked to see that I wasn't holding her close enough to me. So much for being an "expert", right?

pootandcubby said...

One day your boobs will be less entertaining, I swear. And the crying thing should stop around three months (I hope). Hang in there, mama.

-andi

the new girl said...

Oh, Clink.
So, so, so been there, sister. Feel free to email for venting and/or any experience-based assistance that I might offer.

My girl was like that all day AND all night. I can't believe that I made it through.

I always said it was a good thing that she was cute. It's nature's way of making sure that you don't leave her under a tree...but a river, yeah. That too.

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