Sunday, December 16, 2007

Fwd:

3 little letters...how could they strike such misery into my heart?

Fwd: I must see it in my email 4000 times a day. I am done, I can take no more. I am speaking out....

If you don't have something to say...and more importantly...if you don't have something orginal to say. DON'T SEND IT!

If it's funny...by all means...I like a good laugh as much as the next gal...

but...

copy/paste/title....send

Take out the...
>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>
etc etc etc

So I don't need to scroll through a message for 45 minutes just to find which part you are actually intent on me to reading.

Oh and don't bother sending websites...I am not going to look at them. That takes way too much time to sort out of all the other junk in there. If the site is important enough to send it should be sent in it's own email.

I repeat....copy/paste/title....send

I am a Fwd: hater.

An antifwd:ite.

Why don't I just delete them you ask?

I know you are asking.

Because I have to know. I have to maintain this civil liberty to get aggravated with my in laws...I mean the people who send them to me. Yeah...just 'people'....people in no way attached to me by marriage.

One of those people...you know the one who didn't give birth to Spouse. She is INFAMOUS for repeat offending Fwd:'s. I say repeat because I take great pleasure in looking up whatever bullshit she has sent me on Snopes and then hitting "Reply all" and sending out the rebuke to everyone else she has deemed worthy enough to suffer her regurgitated propaganda.
(whew)

And then what happens?

Cause I know you are asking again.

That's right...the following week I get it AGAIN!

So I complain to her, it's annoying. DON'T DO IT ANYMORE! I am very clear on this. Her response..."ohhhh dahhhling...just delete them!"

WTF?

How about just don't send them?
Isn't that easier then clogging up my inbox?? Which for the record, is CLOGGED because there are very few people in this world who can resist the Fwd:.

I am proud to say I am not one of them, I resist. I am not even a recovering Fwd:er. I never even tried it.

I don't do Fwd:s....Fwd:s are bad.
Evil

Frankly...rude so knock it off.

I need to start a national do not Fwd: list.

Starting with everyone whose last name is the same as mine....

I knew I should have kept my maiden name...besides just being a better name.

It is not in my genetic code to Fwd:.

Final note...on the whole maiden name thing. Shouldn't it be the better last name that is the one used when a couple marries? Not automatically the man? This isn't a feminist attitude I promise.
It's about who had the better name.
Cause mine rocked.

R-O-C-K-E-D!

...But like the lack of Fwd: DNA I lack the "my children's last name's are different then mine DNA."
Maybe it's just me....

Now I insist...Fwd: this blog to absolutely no one. Unless of course you think it was really funny...but do it on your own terms. Not because you are being told to send it to 10 people, or that it will add you to a magic list somewhere of people who will get 10k for their Fwd:ing efforts.




5 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Having a day? Oh and your last name did ROCK...as did mine... never had to spell my maiden name to anyone. Never got misspelled mail. Now? I still get cards from a girl I went to Kindergarten with and she STILL spells my married name wrong. It's been 11 years...UGH!

Michelle said...

Oh how I hate those emails too! They're usually some stupid little chicken poop for the soul saying about some little legless kitty who saved the world or how a smile can cure cancer. I absolutely hate that crap.

Now if it's something really great, how hard is it to delete all the extra junk from it so that it appears to come from you? Not hard at all. If I send a link, i explain what the link is about so that the person can at least know the subject and maybe it'll peak their curiosity. If not, no big deal.

As far as the maiden name thing, mine was ok, but it was constantly mispronounced. People constantly added an "h" to it that wasn't there. Drove me fucking nuts. That's why I changed it in the first marriage. But wouldn't you believe that people can't pronounce the name "Nichols" either? Nicholas. Morons.

I swear, I think stupid people should be ground up and put into Soylent Green.

So after the divorce I went back to the maiden name. I kept it for almost 3 years into the new marriage while people still insisted on calling me Mrs. Him. Oh, yes. It's 1950 all over again here in the good old South. And after the falling out with the parents, I changed it to his. I'm to old and tired to fight people's stupidity anymore. And this name is even more mispronounced. People add an "i" that isn't there. Morons. Nothing ever changes.

Michelle said...

I meant to write "too old". Sorry for the brain fart.

Mayzie said...

Your maiden name is pretty awesome. As is mine. Much better than the last name I currently have - especially when paired with my real first name (v. v. boring). Kind of the reason I changed the first name. Still contemplating giving at least one of our children my maiden name as a first name - was a consideration for the first born too, still not sure though for this baby (obviously, gender would need to be determined first).

As for the email thing - I'm with you, I can't stand forwards. It doesn't really matter how funny they are or how heartwarming. I see forward and dread opening it. However, open them I do - like you, I've just gotta see what's so important to annoy others with.

andi said...

I hate that too! I also look them up on Snopes and send it to all. It's amazing to me that people think that because it's in an e-mail it's true. It drives me nuts. I've told various offenders to look at Snopes before sending off any of these stupid FWD e-mails. Sadly, they are too lazy (or too stupid).

andi from Poot and Cubby

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