Thursday, December 20, 2007

Spouse-isms

Discussing my labor and its similarities of "inducement" ala BF.

Spouse: "You share a brain you might as well share a uterus".

Discussing the wait of 6 weeks for "marital playtime activities" and when the boobs will be his again.

Spouse: "I just don't know how I feel about it...it's like having sex on somebodies stove..."

Discussing the babe's need for multiple Binky's in the house (just in case)...I mentioned they come in Vanilla and Natural scents....

Spouse: "Natural? Like what boob scented Binky's?"

4 comments:

Michelle said...

Some of them get really freaked out by birth. If they see your vag stretch and let another person come out of it, then poking their unit into it seems a bit weird (for a while afterward. They do get over it after blue balls get the best of them).

If they see a c-section, just seeing or hearing that your uterus was taken out of your body, placed onto your abdomen, and sutured, then placed back into your body--is enough to make them a little nuts too. They also get freaked out by the connection of "sex leads to blood, hospitals and doctors".

It's the idea that you go from being their love-machine to "somebody's mother". Some take it in stride and welcome it as a new dimension to your sexuality, and others feel like they're screwing a reincarnation of their mothers.

Men are truly complex creatures.

Clink said...

In response...holy crap my uterus was taken OUT of my body?!?!
WTF????

Michelle said...

Yes indeedy. They reach in and pull it out after the munchkin is being dried off and tortured and the placenta is "born" (there are websites that have recipes including this iron-rich plop of gooey goodness--eewwww).

So they pull it out to suction out fluids and blood and also to suture it. It's easier to repair the layers that way. So it looks like you have a red misshapen volleyball with a cut in it that's on your belly. They also dry it off a bit. C-section moms do bleed a little less postpartum because some of the uterine contents have been suctioned (after you account for blood loss in the surgery).

It's really fascinating when you think about how our technology is so amazing that they can do an operation like this on a woman, who's still awake, and she survives it. And she'll be walking around in a few hours after. Amazing. And the uterus will shrink itself down in a matter of hours. And then be almost in its pre-pregnant state in a matter of days. No other organ or muscle could tolerate that.

Sorry to freak you out. It might be freaking out the hubs too. Especially if he overheard "OK, let's put the uterus back in now".

Even weirder for him if he saw what they were doing.

Elizabeth said...

my past comment stands.


Someone else's stove????

Sitemeter