Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The JMIL Factor

I, like many women, have a hard time communicating with my mother in law.

My Jewish mother in law.

She is a sweet darling woman. There is not a bad or evil bone in her body. She just happens to not listen to a word I say.

Spouse says it is because she talks and listens to me like I am one of her daughters.

This drives me crazy.

I say what I mean. I do not make a lot of fuss or use fancy words...I tell it like it is.

She interprets what I say in ways I could never have imagined.

Example...

Me: The sky is blue JMIL, it should be a nice day for a walk!

JMIL: OUI!!!!! Mervin had a kidney stone removed, how nice of you to offer to bring him a kugel.

Me: Ummm JMIL, I am very sorry for Mervin but I have no interest in bringing him a kugel.

JMIL: You want a kugel? I will make two then. Do you want some mundel bread to go with it? Bring some to your father, he loves my mundel bread. How is he feeling?

Me: Ummm JMIL No thank you, I do not wish to take any kugel or mundel bread. My father is the same thank you.

JMIL: teh teh teh, such a shame about your father. (shaking head and putting hand to forehead) You know what you should do? I will tell you what you should do...here is what I think you should do...You should get someone in! That is what you should do! Get someone. Do you think they would like some mundel bread too?

Me: No thank you JMIL, no mundel bread. We do not need to get someone in, my father manages.

JMIL: Mervin has some one in! Perhaps you can ask for a recommendation when you bring him the kugel....

Really this is how it goes. So when I say to JMIL..."JMIL, I will be in NJ this weekend and I would like to spend the morning and afternoon with you and JFIL so you can see the baby. I will be there around 9 and I will have to leave around 4. We can have lunch but not dinner, as I have plans."

This is what I get in return...."How wonderful!!! We can go shopping, have Spouse put the carriage in your car and JFIL can come too and help watch the baby. We can go to the mall, or the outlets. What would you like for dinner? I will go to Wegmans. Should I pick something special up or should we just make our own lunch and DINNER? I can make a kugel!"

What a weekend it will be!

Do you want to know how much? I will tell you how much...this is how much....

Now if Spouse reads this I am a dead woman....

8 comments:

Mayzie said...

Haahaahaa

Sounds like a conversation with my mother. Ooh boy, I don't envy you.

Have fun in NJ!

Amber said...

Oh dear. This makes me feel better about my pseudo-mother-in-law, who just exaggerates a lot. Things she experiences AND things I say. Like if I politely compliment her sweater, she gives it to me a year later, saying, "Well, I remember you said you loved this sweater and wanted to find one like it, so I just thought I'd give you mine."

Good luck this weekend.

Elizabeth said...

OIY! If you make a kugel, she'll want a mendel to go with it :)

Heather said...

I told Elizabeth and now I am telling you....there is a terrbile rash of blogs getting hijacked and MIL, and JMILs alike are getting terrible things said. Well not terrible, but honest things said. They just can't stop the hijacking. It hasn't hit mainstream news because of those darn hijackers taking over the airwaves.

Now I don't have a MIL (she passed away about 6 mos ago) But my FIL.....I think because I work from home that I just sit around waiting for him to call me to ask me to do some random thing that he could do himself. I have complained to dh about it, he talks to FIL, but then FIL does it again. Its never "Hey are you busy" Its..."I need you to run here and go there for me" Ugh, 2 kids doing 2 extracurricular things plus church...oi-yoi-yoi! Wait...I have my own blog I could be venting on...see you touched a nerve, Sweetie. (plus I think Giggles reads my blog and kids can make little things seem so much bigger....)

Megan said...

Reminds me of my grandmother, minus the Jewish part and the kugel. Actually you could substitue the kugel for an italian cream cake and it's the same. Luck for me, I usually just get to hear the stories via my own mother, who so far hasn't fully turned into her mother.

Good luck this weekend!

Michelle said...

Oh, man. My gallbladder that's been removed 5 times already would have to come out again. The trip would be off! There's no way I could tolerate a JMIL even with good intentions who always knows "what's best".

You read about my CMIL. And the C don't mean Christian either, in case you're wondering! (C U Next Tuesday). Well, she is a Christian of some sort and goes to one of those churches where they argue about whether to hire a minister who's been divorced. Then the church splits up, and in a town of 500, there are 50 churches. Well, you can't have white pepple and black people going to same ones, now can you? Not in Mississippi! The horrors!

pootandcubby said...

So funny! If you don't want the kugel, you wanna send some my way?

-andi

Michelle said...

Just added another quick and easy recipe to the blog.

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