The best way to go into labor? Become COMPLETELY content with being pregnant. Decide (and believe) that you'll be totally happy being pregnant forever, and that you're ok with it. When you get to that point-- You'll go into labor within about 12 hours. Maybe 18.But ya gotta BELIEVE...."
So here it is...my belief and acceptance that I will be pregnant forever and honestly, why that is just fine by me.
- Spouse does everything for me...I mean everything. Sunday football this week in our house...Me "Can you get me 2 clementines and a paper towel? Enthusiastic Spouse "Sure!" (5 minutes later) Me "Ummm can I have 3 more?" Not So Enthusiastic Spouse "3? Are you sure you just don't want the whole box?" Me Totally Missing Beloveds Sarcasm "hmmm not a bad idea but I will need more paper towels too..."
- I LOVE to feel the baby move. It's my pal no matter where I go or what I do. I always have someone to talk to and it has an opinion on everything.
- Everywhere I go people smile at me. They look at my belly and smile. That's so cool! I am passed the "hmmm oddly fat or pregnant??" look from strangers and get smiles!
- All of my jeans have elastic tops...you know how freaking comfortable that is???
- I can wear ugly shoes all the time and no one can question me on it.
- No MS Symptoms!!!!!! No fear of MS, no question as to what each tingle or missed step could mean...it's not a degenerative neurological disease...it's pregnancy woo-hooo!!
- If I am pregnant forever then I do not need to suffer childbirth....sweet!
- Spouse rubs my feet and back without question...did I mention he does everything for me? Without me really asking now?? The independence in me still fights it but I am adjusting.
- Spouse snuggles me to sleep and then goes into the guest room leaving me in the Tempra-Pedic all by my lonesome to toss and turn and flip at will! Is that wrong that I think that's a good thing?
- Ummm I don't have to get a job but am not yet a mother. I will look back at this time of my life one day as the most glorious time ever!
- Now that illness (27 weeks of it) has passed and never returned I can eat anything I want but only if I chase it with a bottle of Tums...
- My hair looks GREAT! I mean really really great.
- The house is always clean because it's just the two of us.
- As long as I am pregnant I know I will never ever ever ever smoke. I don't have to work on will power or avoidance. It's just not an option. Now some may judge on this, please know I really will never smoke again. I will not do that to myself....But the temptation to once I am done breast feeding is going to be overwhelming....as long as I am pregnant there is no effort to it. It's a "well duhhh" sorta thing. It's easy and when has quitting smoking ever been easy?
- Ha! This is the best one yet...*singing* "I don't have to clean the litter pan, la la la la la!!!!"
- My boobs are huge! While I do spend a crazy amount of time obsessing over this as a bad thing the fact is they have never been this firm and Spouse has really never been so happy. So that one is sorta for him.
- I can go get quilt free pedicures. (Like I finally managed to do yesterday-color: "My Kind of Brown OPI")...No worries about the baby and Spouse and if I pumped enough before I left.
- That's another thing...pumping, leaky boobs, engorgement, clogged milk ducts, cracked nipples...yeah not so much!
- Getting dressed is a breeze. Only 2 things fit me at this point and really...where am I going this pregnant?
- I can be moody and have an excuse!
- I am up all night on own terms!
- Finally, my Jeep is still MY JEEP and not the Mommy Mobile. No car seats, strollers, diapers or wipes. No little mirrors, snack bags, sippy cups or "hmmm what's that stain??". There is no lolly-pop goop on the window and not one crumb of goldfish.
Now....do I sound convincing?