Friday, November 30, 2007

In our own words.UPDATE

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This took way too long for me to update! Thank you for your patience...I am so very very pregnant and that state seems to be conducive only to napping and not blogging!

Here are the long awaited answers. I have to say, I think some of your guesses are funnier then the reality! (Michelle you have a naughty naughty mind...I love it!)

Cat Blocked (verb) - A personal favorite. The New Girl nailed it...trying to enjoy some love when you are so rudely interrupted in the most obnoxious of ways. You're cat blocked. Butt in face, loud purring...it makes it impossible to do anything but chuck said cat into a wall.

Ass Mice (verb) - Yes it is in fact a verb. Be careful what you say and how you say it in bars. That is how "Ask Nice" was warped into "Ass Mice?" which was then abused to the point where it is so far from its original meaning that you have a hard time remembering life without it. "I ass miced my way all over the store during the holiday sale but no one would help me"! etc etc

Masshole (noun) - I thought this was a gimme! Maybe it is just me living in New England and 10 miles away from the Massachusetts border? The New Girl and Mayzie were closest. A Masshole these days is just about anyone I am forced to come into contact with from Massachusetts. ...especially on the road. I am now convinced anyone driving too slow in the left hand lane learned to drive there, no matter what their license plate claims and no matter what state we happen to be in at the time! MOVE OVER! SAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU! Common decency people! It is not all about you!

Edwina (noun) - Total drug reference from my younger years and still in conversational use today. No matter when marijuana is brought up among my friends, it is referred to as Edwina. (Which is why The New Girl's guess at "a forgetful person" had me cracking up!) This comes from the Steve Martin movie All Of Me. There is a line "Edwina Back in Bowl..." anyways, you had to be there. That shit is hilarious when you are 17 and hanging out way too much with Edwina!


Back of a Volkswagen- Credit to Kevin Smith on this one. "Sex somewhere uncomfortable..." "What? Like the back of a Volkswagen?" This is now used at home for anything considered uncomfortable.

'Nick and Elaine'. - We ALL live near them and I sure hope no one out there is offended by what I am about to say. Nick and Elaine...you know the type. The non-politically correct way to say it is...First word starts with W_ _ _ _ and second with T_ _ _ _. They keep ALL their prized possessions (you know, like broken windows, flower pots, lawn mowers, empty boxes, ladders etc etc) scattered about their front lawns as "decor". They have fake flower arrangements set out in cinder blocks. They leave their holiday decorations (not just Christmas here folks...every freaking holiday) up all year round. They have 6 people living in the house and 14 cars. 9 of which don't work, 3 of those don't have tires and the remaining rattle your windows at 3 am when they leave for ummm "work". Yeah we all have them in our neighborhoods. I used to live next to them in fact. If all that crap in the yard is important enough to keep shouldn't it be in the house and not rotting away for us all to see???? This is a post in itself.

Did a Jane. - bahahaha ahhh the Jane. Ever wonder why Walmart smells like poop? A friends sister in law "farted" in WalMart. She then realized it was more then just fart. It was a little...how do I say...squashy. So now walking through any store if that smell drifts by someone must have done a Jane.
(The end of that story by the way...Jane went to the bathroom to clean herself up and was in the handicapped stall. A young child and mother came in. The child says "Ohh Mommy...that person pooo'd their pants!! The mother says "Shhhhh...she is handicapped!!". Which she is not; we wouldn't make fun of it if she were! Now the story kills me, however, what I find even more amazing is Jane actually told this to people!)

Bump it. - Off Road term (we are a Jeep family...Rock Crawlers, not Mall Crawlers). When Spouse and I started dating that term was used plenty in the off road park. "Just Bump It"....I thought it was perfect for anything that ever needed to be forced.

I hope that semi-entertained you guys. Thanks for playing along!!!! I loved it. Please look at the comments and check out what a "Whale's Mouth" is hahaha. Oh and I think a "Bagel Minute" is like a "NY Minute"


Now...If I could just Bump out the baby life will be swell.
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How many of us out there are crazy and have created our own languages? That's what The New Girl wanted to know! So I answered her and in return I am listing my own secret language and asking you dear readers to define it!

Although in all honesty mine are not nearly as good as hers...I mean I was peeing I was laughing so hard...really, go find out about the 'cat in the basement'.
I'm not going anywhere...go look and come back


Ok...As you have seen we seem to share a wee bit of brain The New Girl and I and we both use "Digger" and "If it were up your ass you'd know" on a regular basis. BUT there are so many more!
Have fun and take your best guesses!

Define:

Cat Blocked (verb)
Ass Mice (verb)
Masshole (noun)
Edwina (noun)

When and why would you use these?

Like in the back of a Volkswagen?
A 'Nick and Elaine'.
Did a Jane.
Bump it.

I'll post the answers in a few days!


9 comments:

Elizabeth said...

pahahah...I would guess but it might ruin the fun for others :) Although our new neighbors are trying real hard to "Nick and Elaine" themselves right into the hall of fame, friggin' goat...

the new girl said...

Oh my garsh.
I have NO idea.
Ass mice is a verb??

I'm going to guess Cat Blocked is when you're trying to have the love and the cat jumps on the bed and ruins the mood.

Ass mice, no clue.

Mass hole- Like an ass hole?

edwina--a forgetful person

Back of a volkswagen--cramming things in someplace

Nick and Elaine--Doing something wacky

Did a Jane--something clumsy

Bump it--Move over.

lmao.

I can't wait to see what they are.

Mayzie said...

Masshole was actually the only I could even hazard a guess at.

Is Masshole a person from Massachussetts thats an asshole - more than likely some driver pissing you off?

The rest of them, I couldn't even hazard a guess.

The only language I can think of that I've come up with is a "bagel minute" - any guesses on what it could mean?

andi said...

Can't guess. Too busy laughing my ass off. No pregnant woman is allowed to be this funny.

Michelle said...

Here in the South, "Digger" is a MAN'S NAME!!! Digger Barnes, Digger Williams, etc.

Can you believe that?

Of course people used to call their sons "Cooter" too. No one would know the kid's real name until he graduated from high school. But girls would use the word "cooter" to refer to the old poonanny.

And no, I don't have one of those wretched Southern accents. Ick. Blech.

Michelle said...

Would "masshole" be a full of shit asshole?

And would the volkswagon have to do with sex? As would the Nick and Elaine? Meaning they were a "hot and heavy" couple?

Bump it just sounds sexual. Bumpin' it *is* sexual down here. Of course I grew up in Louisianer, the teen pregnancy capital of the world.

Would "ass mice" be any thing like "gerbil butt"?

Cat blocked may be the female version of "cockblocked". Instead of using the "P" word.

These are my best guesses.

I'm not a true Southerner, but I do live in the South, and I've been here all my life. So I have no friggin' clue!

Michelle said...

My 11-year old came up with a new one to describe her girlie part. Now this is the "eccentric child" who scratched her taterhole and told my youngest child that she had some of my perfume on her finger and convinced the poor lamb to take a whiff. Never a dull moment on this side of the nuthouse.

The new word for it? Whale's mouth.

Either she'll be something profound as an adult, or she'll be dancing on tables and doing blow before she's 18. "God" help me.

the new girl said...

BAAAHAHAHAHA.

Oh, I was amused all right.

All the Nicks and Elaines around my way, 'work' with Edwina. You know, like FULL TIME. Hence all the 'doo-dads' on the lawn.

These are great.

Mayzie said...

We actually had "Nick and Elaine" living next to us when we were in Northern VT - their trailer (everyone else around them lived in a house) was a very bright yellow, with other shades of yellow mixed in.

The technical definition of a bagel minute is 4.5 minutes - the amount of time it takes you to go into a bagel store in Brooklyn and get a bagel with cream cheese.

The rest of the definitions were hilarious.

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